Preview Days: A Test of Character

Middlebury has just posted the schedule for prospective student Preview Days, and it is quite a sight (I’m digging those aquamarine hues Midd, when are we going to get some Gifs up there?).

The schedule labels events by who is invited: Prospective Students, Parents, and all you other hanger on-ers “All are welcome!” (siblings?? Friendless sophomores?? WHO DO YOU MEAN?)

Sometimes I like to leaf through Middlebury Admissions material just for fun, everything looks so exciting, so intriguing, so packed. If only Middlebury Admissions had written my college applications, I could probably be graduating Harvard, like Grad School, two years ago. With a reality show en route.

In between meet-n-greets with Mchaka Mchaka, Campus Republicans, and Arts n’ Crafts (one wonders who staffed the committee responsible for choosing student groups to represent Midd), I believe there is a nefarious message afoot. You thought you got into Middlebury because you were smart? Try attending all 71 events in the 72 hours of prospective weekend! It’s a test. And I for one, don’t intend to fail.

So gather Middlebury ‘All are welcome!’ It’s time to rise to the challenge to attend every single event. Any interested parties can contact me for 5 Hour Energy Shots, a shot of whiskey (so long as it’s from 4-5AM on Thursday 4/19 once the moon aligns with the steeple of Old Chapel). Victors will be granted an honorific sticker to be placed on your pending degree. It will say “Vanquisher of Prospective Weekend 2012. I.E. Real Student, not like all you other charlatans.”

Until then, I will be in the Abernathy Room fielding questions at my ‘underground panel’ of prospective students who happen to wander in.

(This is really me, on the photo for the English Department web page.  Even though I major in Literary Studies. It’s a lie prospective students! It’s all a lie!!)