Posts by Cody

Dear Cody: Why everyone should go/vote

Midd-blog readers, lost prospective students looking for information about Quidditch and individuals who regularly google my name, welcome to my new advice column/series “Dear Cody.” Every week (or whenever I’m bored slash don’t want to do my reading for intro to contemporary lit. theory) I’ll be taking posts from Midd Confessional and imposing my advice on the anonymous OP (confesh slang for original poster).

Dear OP,

Let’s start this blog post off by saying that when I say “OP,” I’m really talking to every member of this college community. So, hello everyone. I apologize to the masses for my long mono-induced absence. That being said, I am coming back this week in a big way to address a problem that I find particularly troubling and something that we should all be talking about—political apathy, especially in regards to the local SGA elections that will be going on this Thursday at noon until noon on Friday.

If one were to peruse Midd Confessional in order to gauge student interest about the upcoming elections, one would find comments and opinions that are either completely rooted in indifference or focused on superficial descriptions of candidates as “mean” or “good-natured” or “pompous.” Rarely do we find discussions about the candidates’ platforms (found at go/charlie and go/ryankim for Charlie Arnowitz ’13 and Ryan Kim ’14, respectfully) or anything that would suggest that we as a student body are truly engaged by the political process.

Traditionally, the percentage of students who go to the polls come Election Day is less than 30%. I think it’s baffling that a student body full of passionate, bright and vibrant young adults who, presumably, elect to come to a school like Middlebury in order to learn the kinds of things that will lead to inciting positive change in the world, don’t choose to engage in a system that could help improve life on campus.

This is not a blog post written with the intention of endorsing either Charlie or Ryan but rather a blog post written with the intention of endorsing the vote and the process itself. By not voting, we forfeit our voice and our agency in transforming this school into a place that serves its students. We have the power to make a difference even through a medium that, to some, seems small and insignificant. We have to mobilize and become active participants in the electoral process here at Midd—if we choose apathy over passion, silence over raised voices we let ourselves down.

At the end of the day, if you can facebook and do your homework, you can go/vote and do your homework. It’s a process that takes, quite literally, 2 minutes and could make a big difference at this school.

With love and admiration,

Cody

Dear Cody: Make new friends, but keep the old

Midd-blog readers, lost prospective students looking for information about Quidditch and individuals who regularly google my name, welcome to my new advice column/series “Dear Cody.” Every week (or whenever I’m bored slash don’t want to do my reading for intro to contemporary lit. theory) I’ll be taking posts from Midd Confessional and imposing my advice on the anonymous OP (confesh slang for original poster).

Dear OP,

Let’s start off this column by saying that you are ridiculously not alone. Based on the comments on your post, it seems like there are many, many people on this campus who think that they are good-looking and raucously fun, while also hopelessly lonely. Although this might mean that perhaps you aren’t as unique as you thought you were, I think that this serves to illustrate the importance of something that a lot of people on this campus tend to push to the way-side when things at our lovely little college get particularly stressful: the importance of friendship.

Midd kids are, generally speaking, a gregarious and friendly people, but we suck at establishing and maintaining healthy, consistent relationships with our friends. How many times have we all put homework or club meetings or weekend sexcapades or marathons of Downton Abbey ahead of our friendships? And how many more times have we called these same neglected friends at two in the morning in crisis mode begging them to come over and act as venting-vessels for our unbelievably earth-shattering sadness? If you’re like me, you are guilty of this.

Often.

And since we fail to maintain consistent contact with our support systems here on campus, it’s no surprise that we all might feel a little manic and lonely sometimes. OP, I think you could turn your secret hate for yourself and others into something positive by following some of these steps at maintaining old friendships and creating new ones:

1.  Designate one night every weekend as a night for friends: On this night, you don’t spend the entire evening texting that girl or guy you met at the bunker last weekend. You don’t get incredibly intoxicated and pass out and you most certainly do not think about your homework. You watch a movie, organize a themed pregame, collage, jam out or just fill each other in on the week. Start treating your friendships like the support systems they deserve to be and you’ll be surprised at how little contempt you feel for this place.
2. Putting friends first: Try shaking up your priorities: are you the kind of friend who often thinks about your problems first and then stops to think about your friends? Maybe you should try shifting your priorities to put the concerns of your friends before your own for a week. This’ll give you perspective and allow your friends to know that they can always count on you. Send a text, a letter through inner campus mail or maybe just an email to let someone know that you’re thinking about him or her.
3. Join a new organization: If you’re tired or have outgrown some of your old friends, and are wondering how to mobilize yourself in new social circles, join a new organization. If you want to meet new febs, join SNG. If you’re interested in breaking into the Booth Room scene, start slamming poetry with Midd Slam. The opportunities are endless for meeting new people on this campus—break out of your comfort zone a little bit and maybe you’ll find a new BFFAEAEAEAE. Or something like that.

I think the key here for you OP (and all of us here at Middlebury) is finding fulfillment through supporting others. I can think of nothing better for this place than creating a community in which all of its members are not only there for one another, but find joy in providing one another with friendship.

With Love and Admiration,

Cody

Dear Cody: If you wanna know, ask.

Midd-blog readers, lost prospective students looking for information about Quidditch and individuals who regularly google my name, welcome to my new advice column/series “Dear Cody.” Every week (or whenever I’m bored slash don’t want to do my reading for intro to contemporary lit. theory) I’ll be taking posts from Midd Confessional and imposing my advice on the anonymous OP (confesh slang for original poster).

Dear OP,

Based on a certain lack of interesting material to choose from (come on feshers, let’s think of something more interesting to talk about than a post called “Thoughts on Mormonism”), I decided I’d dig through one of my favorite topics “Dear ___” in search of inspiration for this week’s post. Luckily, I found your post, which I thought was particularly interesting and something I think is pertinent for the community as a whole.

One cultural aspect here at Middlebury that frustrates me the most is our collective inability to be gutsy individuals when it comes to the “dating” scene. We spend days, weeks, semesters passive aggressively pursuing people we find attractive with lingering glances by the Bigelow tea selection at Proctor or post discussion section chats that almost always dissolve into murmurings of grabbing a coffee or meal sometime to keep discussing shared frustrations about Eliot and Joyce that, invariably, never come to pass.

That being said, OP, your post suggests to me that you were not very aggressive with your target partner. Making eyes with people and, perhaps, casually holding hands or shoulders or the smalls of each other’s backs does not constitute a level of flirtation that implies serious interest. If you are at all like other Midd kids that I have known, I assume that you were waiting for action from your target partner in order to gauge your place in the blossoming relationship.

The flaw here is that non-action begets non-action begets you alone in your room writing a post on Midd Confesh. If you want to know where you stand in a romantic/sexual/platonic situation, ask. A curious thing to me is how this “aggressive” or “forward” action is only praised when the results are positive; I think there needs to be a shift in our group mentality in which we recognize that action met with a “negative” response is still a strong and positive and healthy way to pursue “dating” or “flirtation” on this campus.

My advice to you at this point? Let your target partner know that you are interested. If you’re sad now without even concretely knowing how the other person feels, I feel like you have absolutely nothing to lose. Building confidence in pursuing people takes a lot of time, but I think that this could be a good starting point for you only because the situation seems fairly low-impact.

Catch their eye, ask if they’re still interested and if they’re not, rent Pushing Daisies from the library, watch a few episodes while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and complain about your target to your friends. But if they are interested, get ready for the exciting beginnings of new romance.

With Love and Admiration,

Cody

Dear Cody: Befriending the intimidating

Midd-blog readers, lost prospective students looking for information about Quidditch and individuals who regularly google my name, welcome to my new advice column/series “Dear Cody.” Every week (or whenever I’m bored slash don’t want to do my reading for intro to contemporary lit. theory) I’ll be taking posts from Midd Confessional and imposing my advice on the anonymous OP (confesh slang for original poster).

Dear OP,

Although you failed to mention me as one of the more intimidating people on campus, if polled, I believe that most people would say that they are moderately to above-moderately intimidated by my wit, charm and coiffed hair, enough so that I feel like I can offer you some advice on talking to people who intimidate you. At a school like ours, it’s incredibly easy to feel intimidated, so I thought I’d offer some quick and easy tips that can help you to chip away at the block of ice standing between you and your new friend-crush/obsession.

1. Find a mutual access point: OP, given our school’s relatively small size, there’s a massive chance that you probably know someone who knows someone who was in a Chem lab with the person that you’re intimidated by. Find that person and coax them (with brownies or free alcohol) to set up a three-person lunch date with yourself, your friend and the intimidator. It’s a low-pressure way to introduce yourself and find out if the intimidator is actually someone with whom you’d like to be friends.
2. Compliments: More often than not, the person you’re intimidated by is probably a well-known campus character. They’re known for being a great writer or sculpting things out of plastic bottles or singing Rhianna like nobody’s business. These people are the kinds of people who have exhibitions, host events or perform at things often. After they do, go up to them and tell them how fantastic you thought they were in the event and that, if they’re free, you’d love to get lunch to talk about their many talents. No one hates a complimenter—you’ll look sweet and interested, the qualities that any great intimidator is looking for in a person.
3. Light Stalking: I’m not telling you to be a creepster, OP, but I am suggesting that you scope out their scene—do they study in Axinn after dinner? Are they a Ross or a Proctor? Where do you see them during the weekend? Tavern, The Mill, ADP, KDR, alone in their room? Find their spaces and experiment with them—if you usually do your homework in the lib, but you’re intimidator likes to study in Proctor lounge, grab a pleather seat and study there, too. An easy conversation:

OP: Hi—are there any outlets in here?

Intimidator: Yeah, I think under that table over there.

OP: Great thanks—wait. Are you Cody Gohl? The kid who writes those hilarious articles on Middblog?

Intimidator: Yes, actually, I am.

OP: I’ve always wanted to say Hi to you but have never had the chance! Hello!

Intimidator: Hello! I love meeting new people and appreciate your bravery and courage in saying hello to someone who may or may not intimidate you!

OP, the thing to remember is that very, very rarely will anyone think less of you for saying hello or expressing your fascination/interest in a person—more often than not, they’ll be excited to find out that someone thinks they’re magnificent.

With Love and Admiration,

Cody