April Fools
Free t-shirts to the first two people to email tips [at] midd-blog [dot] com with the origin of the MiddBlog April Fools header image. Go.
Posts tagged ‘april 1st’
Apr 1
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Apr 1
Wayfarers for All
Neon plastic Wayfarers: these brilliant pieces of flair first appeared at this year’s Orange Crush concert during Winter Carnival. Unfortunately, for most people, multiple pairs throughout the evening got stomped on, danced on and I-don’t-know-what on and are now in fragments at the recycling center (probably soon to start backing up sewage in the town). Only a select few were lucky enough to hold onto a pair, turning heads on the sidewalks as they walk to the gym or library. Recognizing that some students are now feeling very left out, the College has decided to provide these sunglasses at every function, from Hirschfield films to RAJ lunches. When asked why the College chose to acknowledge this trend and not, say, Crocs or designer backpacks, one official, wishing to remain anonymous (not JK Rowling), said, “Because everyone should look like JFK.”
Apr 1
51 Main Waitstaff Lament Addition of Fizzy Lifting Drink
51 Main At the Bridge recently added Fizzy Lifting Drink to its repertoire of mocktails to attract the as yet untapped market of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory fans. Although the Fizzy Lifting Drink has brought customers to 51 Main in droves, the bubbly beverage has created headaches for the waitstaff.
“The customers insist on being served near the ceiling. I have consumed so much Fizzy Lifting Drink, my stomach is about to explode,” said one waitress.
Another added, “My tips have really taken a hit. It takes about an hour for Fizzy Lifting Drink to wear off, so I am unable to serve my other guests.”
One waitress, perched high atop a stack of bar stools and phonebooks shouted, “They bump into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized!”
Apr 1
Quidditch Gets 98% of 2010 Activities Money
The SGA Finance Committee announced today that they have allocated over $700,000 of student activites fee (SAF) money to the Middlebury Quidditch Club. This allocation comes at the expense of all MCAB concert and club sport funding. President and High Commissioner of Quidditch Alex Benepe ’09 remarked, “Water Polo and Rugby players will be put to good use on Quidditch teams. In fact, we will be rolling out underwater Quidditch in November next year.” MCAB Concerts Chair Hank Rosen ’09 was disappointed in the decision, “Quidditch is still a fringe movement on campus!”
The extra money will be put toward research and development to create brooms that can actually fly. According to President of the College Ron Liebowitz, an anoymous donor (JK Rowling) has donated funds for the construction of a Quidditch stadium to be located on top of the Organic Garden. Quidditch players will be able to help harvest organic carrots before each of the games.
Apr 1
Biette Announces New Meal Plan
In an all campus email this morning, Matthew Biette, Director of Dining Services, announced changes to Middlebury College’s meal plan. Mr. Biette wrote:
In an effort to reduce spending during our troubled economic times, the dining halls will serve only local, organic rice and beans for the remainder of the year. If the economy rebounds between now and the fall term, we will return to our regularly scheduled scrumdiddlyumptious menu.
But fear not, my earth-conscious students! A diet of local, organic rice and beans will assist the College in achieving its 2016 goal of carbon neutrality. Huzzah!
