Finals and the Finale collided with equal and opposite force this week, twice-baking my brain like a potato. My apologies for an overdue recap of the Finale and a short recap of last week’s double feature! Read the full season saga here.
Episode 11: Tick, Tick, Cabo-oom!
In last week’s second ep, the gang took a south-of-the-border vacation from their vacationland beachfront San Diego mansion. Long, drunken, nude story short, Priscilla knocks back quiiite a number of bebidas alcohólicas and just wants to kiss everyone (horny, drunk straight girls! the plight of lesbians everywhere!) Zashley keep to themselves, while the other five housemates bond without them. The episode is still not available to watch online, but it will apparently be up on January 7 for when you’re bored at home and sick of watching WB11 reruns of Two and a Half Men.
Episode 12: An End to the Endless Summer
Before the housemates head their separate ways, they throw one last north-of-the-border fiesta. Frank and Nate are co-hosting a charity event at the House of Blues to benefit the It Gets Better Project, an organization dedicated to serving LGBT youth. Frank keeps his cool during the event’s planning stages, but pre-event jitters get the best of Nate, who in turn gets vreyyy druunknkk. He slurs himself silly onstage, leaves his housemates to run the silent auction by themselves, and is just about as annoying as the TERRIBLE band that plays the event.
The next day, Frank is hard at work on tying up loose ends after the event. Nate resists Frank’s demand for help, and a screaming match ensues, with Frank clad in a howling wolf tee and Nate wearing nothing but American flag compression shorts. Five minutes later, they’re back on good terms. Beautiful.
Read the full saga here.
MTV aired a Real World double-header last night- the ONE night in Real World 26 history that I was unable to watch the show live. Go figure. Here’s your episode 10 summary. Episode 11 also aired last night but has not yet been made available online. Check back for a recap!
Episode 10: Camp Out, Drag Out, Sing Out
The gang was everywhere in this episode- the clubs, the house, and the wilderness, even- but no matter where they went, they just couldn’t seem to get along. Frank decides that the time between ab reps at the gym is a good one in which to have a serious conversation with Ashley. She politely steers the conversation away from the truth (“Frank, I hate you”) by talking about how much she liked having his ex-boyf Michael around. Frank is peeved by her fakeness, but perhaps more peeved by her unwillingness to focus on him; “Well, Ashley, what about me?!” he says in the Confessional later. When he returns home from the gym, Frank vents to a mildly interested Nate, caling Ashley is a “white-bread dumb conservative b*tch.” In the same breath, he says they could have a real friendship if she could just be honest with him (which makes sense, right? that’s what I call my friend crushes, too).
As the producers of any family movies know (The Parent Trap, RV, etc), the best cure for family strife is a camping trip!!! It’s also a great excuse to dress in camo (cue the montage of housemates in various stages of war paint, olive green, and undress). The camo-clad army invades a Subway on the way out of town and then hits the road. After setting up camp, the gang takes a sunset “hike” (1.4 miles over flat land…Priscilla wears Uggs), but Zashley speed ahead to share a quiet moment at the lookout before the others arrive. When they also head to bed early and miss family s’more time, Frank becomes angry that their canoodling is interrupting group cohesion.
That dense reading on political philosophy can wait! Read these recaps instead.
Episode 9: All the Wrong Moves
After weeks of weak storylines about geeky high school boyfs and hookups that never happen, the drama finally returned this week, when everyone did exactly what they shouldn’t have (except for the sensible trio of Alexandra, Priscilla and Sam, of course, who just stayed off-camera). Here’s the relationship 411:
Frank and Michael: the loverboys start the episode with a drunken confrontation. Frank, our favorite cyclone of sexual energy, gave quite the lapdance to a tall redhead in the club while Mike sat alone and watched. Frank gives a tearful apology, but Mike delivers an ultimatum: Frank has to decide whether he’s ready for a committed relationship. It appears that Frank has made up his mind when he hits the club and goes home with a tattooed guy named Todd. Unbeknownst to Frank, Alexandra has helped Mike to plan a surprise visit for the next morning. A mere hour out of bed with someone else, Frank has to put on the loving-boyfriend face. After a pathetic attempt at lying, Frank comes clean. He says he’ll “go crazy” without Mike, but Mike tells him it’s over. The housemates show little sympathy for a cheater, but Frank says he has “no regrets” and that he’s just a “work in progress.” The next morning, after another night with Todd, Frank proclaims he’s “over it” (“it” being that whole “Michael and I are inseparable and perfect and madly in love” thing).
7 hours’ worth of recaps here.
Episode 8: Stolen Show, Stolen Hearts, Stolen Motorcycles
For the third week in a row, things at the Real World house have been pretty tame. Now that the gang appears tired of the club scene and sick of bickering over sexual identity, there have been considerably fewer instances of property damage, regrettable sexual encounters, and tirades peppered with censored expletives. I want a show that glues me to the couch and makes me hold my pee for an hour! I want to kick myself during commercial breaks for not owning TiVo! Is that too much to ask?!
PrisDylla have "friend time"
Here’s a brief rundown of the (in)action:
Dylan Redhead, Priscilla’s ex-boyf/”friend” that snuggles with her with his tongue in her mouth (that’s what friends are for, right?), returns again on his green motorbicycle. He pays for breakfast, does 2 months’ worth of Priscilla’s laundry, and bakes brownies for the housemates. Predictable jokes about testosterone ensue. The gang decides to play a practical joke on Cilla’s doting “friend,” so they hide his motorbike. DylPickle freaks out, flags down a cop, and begins to file a missing vehicle report. The best cameo (and best poker face) of the night goes to the housemates’ middle-aged neighbor, who convinces Dylan that he took the bike and sold it. The truth is revealed and everyone, even Dylan, has a laugh. At the end of the ep, Dylan heads back to school so the underage lovebirds have to say goodbye. Priscilla sheds some tears, but her mom visits (the cool one who went shot-for-shot with the gang at their July 4th bash) and advises her not to get tied up in a messy, long-distance relationship.
Middlebury’s Otter Nonsense improv troupe released a short video parody of reality TV show “Real World” in anticipation of their upcoming performance. The minute-long clip features Adam Benay ’13.5 as a belligerent Frank Sweeney ’11, a housemate on the current season of “Real World” set in San Diego.
Check it out:
The Otters, who last weekend won the Collegiate Improv Tournament’s New England Regionals, will be performing on Tuesday, November 15th at 10:30PM in Johnson. The show will feature their brand new “housemate” Adam Milano ’14. Don’t miss it!