7 hours’ worth of recaps here.
Episode 8: Stolen Show, Stolen Hearts, Stolen Motorcycles
For the third week in a row, things at the Real World house have been pretty tame. Now that the gang appears tired of the club scene and sick of bickering over sexual identity, there have been considerably fewer instances of property damage, regrettable sexual encounters, and tirades peppered with censored expletives. I want a show that glues me to the couch and makes me hold my pee for an hour! I want to kick myself during commercial breaks for not owning TiVo! Is that too much to ask?!
PrisDylla have "friend time"
Here’s a brief rundown of the (in)action:
Dylan Redhead, Priscilla’s ex-boyf/”friend” that snuggles with her with his tongue in her mouth (that’s what friends are for, right?), returns again on his green motorbicycle. He pays for breakfast, does 2 months’ worth of Priscilla’s laundry, and bakes brownies for the housemates. Predictable jokes about testosterone ensue. The gang decides to play a practical joke on Cilla’s doting “friend,” so they hide his motorbike. DylPickle freaks out, flags down a cop, and begins to file a missing vehicle report. The best cameo (and best poker face) of the night goes to the housemates’ middle-aged neighbor, who convinces Dylan that he took the bike and sold it. The truth is revealed and everyone, even Dylan, has a laugh. At the end of the ep, Dylan heads back to school so the underage lovebirds have to say goodbye. Priscilla sheds some tears, but her mom visits (the cool one who went shot-for-shot with the gang at their July 4th bash) and advises her not to get tied up in a messy, long-distance relationship.
Catch up here.
Episode 7: It’s My Party and I’ll Bang if I Want To
Zach gets defensive when the housemates pressure him and Ashley
What happened on this week’s ep is unimportant; it’s what didn’t happen that made this installment particularly awk.
Thing that didn’t happen #1: Zashley. In the beginning of the show, Sam put together a simple equation: hot girl plus hot guy should equal sex. (This is one of many times that Real World viewers must separate real life from entertaining television- of course, not every owner of a nice 6-pack or pair of perky ta-ta’s has a moral imperative to get it on. But this is reality television! Who wants to watch two attractive people just read Mitch Albom books in bed?!) Zach freaks out that the rest of the house is “in his business,” talking behind his back about why on earth he’s not doing it with Ashley. His tirade against Sam doesn’t include another gay slur, thank goodness; he instead tells her to eat another piece of pizza (?). I think he intended to say something hurtful but couldn’t think of anything. oops.
It’s clear that Ashley is 100% ready and willing to take things with Zach to the next level. She even buys the guy a $500 pair of ostrich skin cowboy boots for his birthday! He, however, is clearly hesitant, and his upbringing may have something to do with it. Zach gets a serious talking-to from his pops, who had seen a clip of Zach holding someone (“I presume it was a girl”) too intimately. At their joint birthday bash end of the episode, Zashley share a kiss but head to bed without utilizing the SexBox of kinky toys that Frank and Nate had put together for them. Zach’s final quote of the night- every girl has a dad and an uncle and a brother, and that he thinks about his sisters before he pulls moves on a girl. What’s the verdict: is this admirable self-control, or is something amiss? Read more
You seem lost. Read these recaps first.
Episode 6: Pride and Prejudice
It’s Pride Week in San Diego, the time when the rest of the city tries to talk about sexual identity as much as the RW cast does. Most of the gang starts the week at a lesbian highlighter party (cue lines like “BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!”), but Zach and Ashley stay home and do some quiet bedtime reading.
Frank falls head-over-heels for Mike in Episode 6
Nate makes progress on his suicide prevention blog, meeting with his business partners and a C-list celebrity who’s going to post his story on the blog. Business meeting turns to blackout confessionalizing when the team hits the bar. Later, Frank and new lover Mike (I’m getting to that in a second!) advise Nate to seek legal advice regarding his well-intentioned project. Nate is less-than pleased with Frank’s condescension and says he can “afford the gamble.” [I checked out Nate's website, "The Living Memoir," and the finer details of the charity are suspiciously vague. It's not yet a registered 501(c)3, and it donates only 20% of profits to unnamed "suicide prevention foundations." The website, which appears to be a work in progress, does not say where the other 80% of profits are going.]
Back to the omgabsolutelyadorable love story <3 ! Frank meets Mike at a gay bar, and it’s love-after-first-shot. Not only does Mike stay the night, but he joins the cast at Pride the next day. Cue the montage of Frank pecking every inch of his face while Zach and Ashley reluctantly man the House of Blues booth, armed with dark sunglasses, presumably to protect them from contagious gay vibes. To their credit, though, they don’t pick a fight. Ashley says that just because the experience made her uncomfortable doesn’t mean that it was anything “bad.” Zach is more outspoken about his discomfort; he says he felt like a “$5,000 steak” (woah, there, hotshot, are we talking American dollars?) and that he’d never consider going to a gay bar.
Still not sure what all this is about? Neither are we. But here are Recaps 1 thru 4.
Episode 5: “Over the Rainbow”
After a slooow episode last week, viewers tuned in last night to give the “Real World” another chance to deliver. Most of this week’s installment seemed to be a build-up to next week’s San Diego Pride Parade episode, but there were enough tears and partisan redecorating initiatives to keep things interesting.
An unexpected phone call in the show’s opening minutes set the stage for the drama to follow. Sam learns from a friend back home that her two closest friends were seriously injured in car accident, and that one of them lost a leg. Nate steps in to comfort her. The perfect storm unfolds when Zach, both unaware of the bad news and incapable of contributing to the show much more than bigotry and suspiciously large pectorals, makes an off-the-cuff threat to “beat the gay” out of Sam. Whether his comment was intentional or just plain stupid, it’s too much to sweep under the rug. Zach makes matters worse by refusing to apologize (points for consistency, at least?)
Next up- the gang heads to job interviews at the House of Blues, where they’ll be working as bartenders and hosts/hostesses. The ease of the process is slightly cringe-worthy considering that nearly 1 in 10 Americans is unemployed, but since when is Real World supposed to be tactful, huh?
Still behind? Check out recaps from Episode 1, Episode 2, and Episode 3.
Midterms bogging you down? If you just couldn’t pull yourself away from that riveting lab report for a 40-minute foray into the world of shamelessly irredeemable reality TV, I have two pieces of good news for you. One: as always, I’ve got your back with a full recap. Two: you didn’t miss much.
Episode 4: Hair-Razing Arguments and Sticky Situations
Reality TV at its finest: Nate eats a live fish.
In all honesty, this was a “meh” episode. I ended up watching some “Extreme Couponing” on TLC afterwards to get my heart rate back up to normal, but I’ll do my best to keep this interesting.
At the end last week’s episode, Frank promised the ladies that he’d seek help for his tendency towards violent, confrontational behavior when drunk. Episode 4 starts with Frank’s visit to a therapist (does a cameo on the Real World help or hurt the doc’s business, I wonder?). Frank leaves encouraged that talking out his probs will minimize conflict back at the house. Later, the gang takes a deep-sea fishing trip. Everyone seems to have a blast, but Nate arguably has the most fun puking up fush guts and getting a nasty sunburn. What’s a fishing trip without that one guy who bites a live anchovy in half, amiright?!?
That night, Nate follows up on a promise to faces his queer fear, and visits a gay bar with Frank. One thing leads to another, and
he comes out of the closet and has a sexy makeout with Frank ends up bringing two straight girls back to the house. One thing leads to another and they have a sexy threesome the ladies draw all over his sunburned face with Sharpie (heyo high school!). Didn’t I tell you this was a good one?